Grampy ALWAYS Has the Best Ideas
Claudia and I have been blessed to have spent the last four days up in Pigeon Forge, TN with our son, his wife, our two daughters and FIVE of our grand babies. Our son & daughter in law made this all possible. We greatly miss our other two grand babies. We have not seen them in probably 5 or 6 years. It was our son & daughter in law who made this trip possible.
Patrick & Ericka & boys have a camper they LOVE taking with them whenever they travel. We are all at the KOA (Campground of America) in Pigeon Forge, TN, and just happen to have sites that are just around the corner from each other. Well, ours is a little cabin, and they have "Emily", their camper.
We have spent most evenings in the cold, on our deck huddled in front of the fireplace. The warmth of the fire from the pieces of logs we brought with us, is a welcome woolen blanket from the damp cold. Don't wander too far from the fire, or you will shiver from the air's frigid fingers causing Goose Bumps to march up and down your arms and back.
As Father, I am the one everyone looks to for the answers. Well, my self esteem as "Father" likes to believe that, anyway. At least I have duped the Grand Babies to think GRAMPY has the answers. Claudia's and my children have learned better.
"Keep Dad away from anything that will hurt him. Take sharp objects from him."
The Camp Fire... In order to start a campfire, you need some kindling, and you place it under a stack of dry wood which is built in tower fashion, so the oxygen flowing through the logs can encourage the kindling to start a good flame, which will then ignite the dry wood, above. The warmth provided from the burning embers, licked by the hot flames, gives satisfaction and warmth to all around... UNLESS you have purchased the wood from the KOA Office.
The KOA has found a specialized type of wood that can only be found in the dense verdant forests of Tennessee. It is from these forests I am going to build our next house.
You see, THIS wood has some kind of MAGICAL properties that can't be found in any other part of the world. This wood, no matter how much kindling or how many fire starters you use, it just will NOT catch fire. It's just amazing.
Attached here is a picture of our blazing fire after Patrick and I have worked on it with 48 Fire Starters, for an hour and a half. If you look very closely, you will see a flame in the middle of the wood. That little flame is the remnant of the 48 Fire Starters we used, to try and get this wood burning.
The guy in the camping spot next to us is an artist, making intricately ornate sculptures of bending and shaping metal. It was exquisite artwork. I could just sit and watch him create for hours. At a certain point in the process, he took a break, grabbing a drink and sitting down in a lawn chair, gazing at the unfinished piece, as if contemplating his next move. I took the opportunity to wander over and explain our dilemma. I asked him if we could borrow his self contained blow torch for just 5 minutes, assuring him that a man my age knew exactly how it works.
Patrick and I had prepared for this final endeavor by stopping by the KOA office and purchasing the rest of the Fire Starters they had. We made an Eiffel Tower of them, carefully placing each piece in the perfect position to catch the correct amount of oxygen and flame. It was BEAUTIFUL. The Tee Pee of dry wood surrounded the tower in a way that ANY of my Cherokee ancestors would be proud of. We were ready for the Campfire of Campfires.
Patrick turned on the Blow Torch and I applied the spark: WOOSH. We had Lift Off. He adjusted the flame to the hottest point, to where it was begging for wood to burn. "Bring it to me, Baby. Bring it to me!!!"
It was burning gas at an incredible rate. The edge of the flame was so hot it was melting anything that got in its way. Metal did not stand a chance. It was TIME!
Patrick applied the insistent flame to the Fire Starters. WHOOOOOSH, those 48 Fire Starters instantly caught fire, and flames shot out the top of the chimney. It was an inferno, a BEAUTIFUL Mountain of Flames.
FINALLY, SUCCESS!!!!
The warmth of the bonfire was soooo welcome as we stood shivering in the damp, cold air. We bathed in the warmth for the next five minutes until it started uncharacteristically dying down. Then out.
The ashes of the Fire Starters were everywhere, causing us to cough uncontrollably, as we breathed in the Ash saturated air. Our soot covered faces gazed down at what was a ROARING MASS OF FLAMES just seconds before. Not a single piece of dense verdant forest Tennessee wood had caught fire.
Yep, I'm going to build my next house from THIS wood!!!
The all wise and all knowing Grampy had to come up with some clever "Story" as to why the grand babies tonight, could only roast marshmallows in the flame of a hand held blow torch.
